How do you sleep train twins in the same room - won't they wake each other up?

Question from a CMOTC mom:

I need some advice please. I am having issues with my 8 month old twins sleeping at night. If I decide to let them cry it out how does that work? They are in the same room but have their own crib and they are side by side. Usually only one is awake at a time (imagine that). Do I let them wake the other one up? One of my boys is typically a good sleeper, but thanks to his brother crying constantly for several nights now he has started waking up and fussing too.

I let one of them cry for about 15 minutes last night but he was downstairs in a pack n play so we didn't wake up the other one. Then it took me 20 minutes to calm him down but he slept from 2 am until almost 7. I'm just not sure what to do but we are all exhausted as we enter night six of this new routine. Please let me know what worked for you or any ideas you may have. Thank you in advance for any help.


Advice/experience from CMOTC moms:

Mine are 2 now and I remember those miserable nights. My Ped mentioned giving them "baby boot camp" around 9 months because mine weren't sleeping through the night either. They were also prone to ear infections & reflux, so I was constantly in their room for one reason or another not knowing if their crying was related to that or to something else like teething.

We would let them each "cry it out" and they both had their turns. It was miserable. To this day my daughter always wakes up before my son and can wake him up at times. We just let her do her thing. At that young age my son learned to tune her out and keep sleeping through her screams. At times we let them each have a moment of "crying it out". One would start, then the other. My son usually settled down after 20 mins but overall, each could cry it out for over an hour. I remember my heart beating fast, my blood pressure rising/boiling and freaking out at the clock wondering if we'd ever get sleep again. I think they finally got used to it after a week or so, but it was no picnic.

Good luck & many blessings to you during this transition.

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I've had the same issues with my girls and are still having them at 13 mos!!

Mostly we let them cry it out. It's very hard to do, since your instinct is to go to them. But if one is crying, it almost NEVER wakes up the other. Almost. I have to be honest, I have one cryer and one sleeper. It's frustrating. But if you go to them every time they don't learn to "self-soothe". Sounds barbaric, I know. I think it's harder on the parents.

However, if you hear their cry change... and it's a HURT cry, then of course check on them. Mine like to throw out their blankey if we don't come in right away. Then the cry changes. I go in, put the blankey back in the crib, caress their head and leave. No talking.

Good luck. I know it's hard.

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At 9 months, I was about to lose my mind and sanity from lack of sleep. At 11 months, I separated them and put them in the own room. BEST decision ever. It is probably not the popular opinion, but at some point you need sleep. I wish I would have separated them sooner. So that is my advice. And then let the non-sleeper cry it out. We also put a fan in the hall way to drown out the noise. And a white noise machine in their rooms which REALLY seemed to help.
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We left them in the same room and let them cry it out. Their cribs are about 3 feet apart. My daughter would sleep fine through her brother's crying. I really just tried to read their signs. I could tell if the cry was getting better or worse. If it was getting worse, I would go in after 15 minutes and try to calm him down by singing, rubbing his tummy, whatever I could do without picking him up. Every day a different thing would work or not work! Once he was calm I would leave again and the cycle would repeat itself. It started out once an hour, then by day 5 he was sleeping through the night. If he would not calm down at all after an hour, I would pick him up, but I would do everything I could to avoid this. Now my daughter is the worse sleeper, so probably once a week we have to go through this process again, but typically after 15 minutes she is asleep.

It was the most difficult week of my life, but my kids are great sleepers now. I put them down wide a awake and they do not make a peep, sometimes laying there for 30 minutes awake. Unfortunately every kid is different, so this may not work for you. Just remember the hard work now will pay off in the long run. It was right around your twins age that my twins really fell into a routine and slept rather well. I no longer woke up wondering what would happen that day. Good luck!

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I am sure you will hear from the others.... continue to let them cry it out. Though I kinda forget, I think at 8 months they could at least go from 10pm till 6 am without feeding. They do not wake each other. I would continue to keep them in the same room. I do recall sometimes putting the one in a separate room (pack-n-play) but that was out of my fear of them waking the other up and on those nights I HAD to get the sleep.

Good luck... it will get better soon!!!

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I used the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Twins for sleep issues. When I decided to do CIO. I just put the two in their own cribs in the same room. I read a story to them while they were in their cribs. As long as I knew that they were well fed and in a safe location, I felt comfortable just shutting the door and leaving the room. I think they cried for about 30 min for about 3 nights in a row. When they woke in the middle of the night crying I didn't go get them (I was just too tired anyway). It might help if you leave the house or have your husband listen on the monitor when they are crying. I know it was hard to listen to. As long as they sound like they haven't hurt themselves, they should be okay crying and the crying should get shorter and shorter each day.

Mine are 22 months and have been sleeping well since about 6 months. It's tough to do the CIO but a few days of crying is worth it for them and for you in the long run. Mine are now trying to climb out of their cribs which is a whole new problem for me. :) Hope this helps.

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My two cents is that you need to keep them in the same room (rather than one in a pack and play downstairs) and let them cry it out. If you change it to where one is downstairs, then even if he starts sleeping through the night, it's very likely that once he is in his own bed again, he will not. It's different. Maybe this wouldn't happen, but for my kids routine was routine and part of that is sleeping in their own beds under the conditions of their own rooms - lights, sounds, space, smell, bed, etc.

Next, mine were in different cribs but butt up next to each other too. Luckily for me, one of them started sleeping through on his own at four months. The other I had to sleep train at nine months. I had the same concerns about the one waking the other, especially because the twin I was sleep training still had the really horrible hair-sticking-up-must-pick-him-up baby cry (he still does at three years old!). However, it's kind of a necessary evil of the sleep process, since they do sleep together.

As it turned out, sometimes my sleep trainer would wake up his brother, sometimes not. They get used to each other and sleeping through the other. That's not to say that the other won't always wake up every time, but it is to say that you might be surprised, he might start only waking up only on occasion (rather than all the time like now). For my twins, this sleep training for the one twin at nine months took two weeks. It is painful. First, the longer you wait (like nine months) the harder it tends to be. I knew this, but still waited because he had issues when he was younger and I just let it go. But it is harder the older they get. Second, I was not a by the book kind of girl. I was a two minutes crying, go check (no words, no pick up, just lightly touch MAYBE), then wait maybe five minutes and go check, then eight minutes, check. My graduation in adding time was there, but not as big a gap of time as some say you should do. I just couldn't do it. I was weak. Same with my singleton who needed sleep training (we did that at five months). You have to do what works for you and them. Sleep training/cry it out (totally or in intervals of time) works though. It really does. They need to learn to sleep by themselves.

We had a mobile that had a detachable music box (Tiny Love brand). We detached the mobile part and left the music part. At eight months they can press the music button if they want it in the middle of the night when they wake up. Sometimes that is soothing and it's self soothing, so that is good. It's hard for them to learn to sleep without you helping them. One of my friends, back when I did my now five year old singleton's sleep training, said that a doctor told her "if your favorite thing in the whole world that helped you get back to sleep was there every time you woke up, why wouldn't you wake up wanting it?" It's just a matter of them comforting themselves and learning how to fall asleep by themselves, not relying on you to help them.

That said, I think sleep training was the HARDEST thing ever! It was painful and I didn't like it. But it worked and they now sleep very well. All three. Woo hoo. But when you go through it, ESPECIALLY with multiples, you question everything you do and worry and stress and all that. I get it. I so get it. I do not miss that time (the sleeping part - I miss the little baby part at times - just because it goes WAY too fast!) at all. But, once we got through it, they slept well. However, expect vacations and sicknesses to throw it off balance again. You might have to go through some "cry it out" nights after those things too, but they typically do not last as long as what it is now. Typically, I would say try it for two weeks (one week with a singleton) and if it doesn't work, stop, wait a couple weeks and try again. However, if your twins have been separated (downstairs in pack and play) the entire six days so far, you may have to restart it from the beginning with them both in the same room. ????

Good luck. It doesn't seem possible now, but it will work and they (and YOU) will sleep... soon!

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Do you have more advice? Please comment below.

Sleeping advice: one twin is sleeping through, but the other is not...

Question from a CMOTC mom:

My twins are 4 1/2 mos now and one twin has been sleeping through the night since we decided to start letting her (instead of waking her when her twin woke up) about 4 wks ago. The other twin, however, is not even close. We went says he is now capable and that it was just a habit for him, and that we needed to start working on breaking him of it. So we started however, though he has proved he can make it through without a bottle, it is harder to get him to BACK to sleep without the bottle. At least then I was up no more than 30 minutes and then he would go back to sleep for 3 hrs. Last night, he went down at 8 pm and was up pretty much off and on all night from 10:30 pm -4:30 am.


We are still swaddling him, so I would re-swaddle and rock him and then lay him back down. He would sleep for a little bit and then wake up crying again. Any tips on how to break this? We haven't attempted just letting him cry it out because he's in the same room with the other twin who has been sleeping through the night and I don't want him to wake her. Advice??



Advice/experience from CMOTC moms:

I was worried about CIO b/c the boys were both in the same room, but they just get used to the other one crying. I think I just was too tired to go in there anymore. One was sleeping through the night about a month or so before the other. There were nights when one would be screaming enough to wake my husband and I up and the other would be sound asleep two feet away. I was amazed. It may take a few rough nights and they probably will wake each other up, but they should eventually get used to each other.


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He may be ready to not be swaddled -- give it a try. He may get uncomfortable after a bit. We stopped swaddling at 2.5 months and switched to the sleep sacks, which if you need any, we have 4 of the small ones you can have. They are the summer weight and in cream.


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It may be that he needs to learn to get himself back to sleep without your help, which usually means "crying it out." I had, and still have, a hard time letting them cry, but I learned to tell the difference between the "I'm hungry," "Something's wrong," and "I want someone with me" cry, although its not full-proof and it can change. My girl twin was the one for me that would have a hard time going to sleep at night and then occasionally waking up in the middle of the night. And that child has a voice on her! I was worried it would wake her brother, but he just slept through it all. When she did awake with the "I want someone with me cry", I would give her 10 minutes to settle down again, and 99% of the time she did. It is very hard to do, but if you don't, you will have a difficult time of it as your son gets older and won't settle down until you respond.

If I thought it was a more urgent sounding cry, i.e., "I'm hungry" or "Something's wrong", I always responded right away.

The only other thing I can think of that helped my two was to play a CD of lullabies when they went to bed (we still do that) or when they woke up. We also had a "Glow Worm" plush toy that when pressed played soft, music-only lullabies for 5 minutes that we placed near the crib.


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I would say at 4.5 months, he is capable. But that does not necessarily mean he is willing!! Some babies take a lot longer to sleep though the night. Maybe try weaning him slowly. Like 2 bottles a night for awhile then down to one. Instead of none at all!! :)

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Twins will often become accustomed to the others' crying & can often sleep right through it. I was doubtful of this, but my girls were co-bedded and there were many times when one would be screaming while the other would be sleeping peacefully right beside her. Very few times did the one wake the other.


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Letting them "cry it out" always bothered me but when you are sleep deprived you become willing to try anything. I now believe it is in the babies' best interest to let them cry a little and learn how to self soothe and fall asleep. I know of people with young children who never learned this and believe me, they pay a high price!

Here's what we did:

When a baby woke: Offer paci, if that didn't do it, check comfort (too hot cold etc), check diaper, reswaddle, sing lullaby and rub belly (clockwise). We checked things in progression from least disturbing so we would not wake the baby up more if all she needed was a little soothing. Most times we wouldn't say anything except a quiet "shhh" then maybe a reassuring "mommy/ daddy is here" "you're OK". After each soothing attempt we left the room for a few minutes even if they were crying. Sometimes we saved the diaper for very last.

A few more things: We never turned the light on or played/cooed (kind of difficult when they give you those sweet smiles, but well worth it) with the girls. I tried to act as sleepy as I felt and would sometimes barely open my eyes. It was night-night time and we wanted them to know it! We also would not pick them up unless necessary for a diaper change.

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Your little guy may be about to outgrow the swaddle. We had one baby who never liked the swaddle very much. We eventually swaddled her with her arms out and she liked that.

We used a blankie once the girls were big enough to roll over (check w/ your doc to make sure). People were always amazed that our girls would go to sleep just about anywhere with just a paci and blankie.


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Just quick note back... I just let mine cry it out. Seems a little early for them to sleep through, I think at that age they could go 11:00 pm-5 or 6 am. Mine didn't wake each other. If you still fear this, as I sometimes did, I also had a pack-n-play set up in a large walk-in closet that I would often take one twin in to let him cry it out. He would go back to sleep. I put the sound machine (ocean waves in there). It was heart-breaking to allow them to cry, but they need to learn how to sleep and put themselves back to sleep.

They are now both great sleepers, and I personally think is is because I did not hold them in the night every time they cried.


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First, do you have Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? I loved that book. I actually had a friend give me the cliff notes when I had my oldest because he had colic and I was exhausted (since then I have read chapters that have pertained to what I needed). It worked well. For the twins,I felt it was more complicated. Same reason as you. One of the boys slept through the night before the other. You have to do what you feel is best. For example, the twin that wasn't sleeping through the night had feeding issues for 4.5 months until we figured it out. He was smaller too, so honestly, I cut him a break and just got up with him. He would, just like yours, go back to sleep right afterwards. But, I just wanted to do that for many reasons.

However, I did get to the point where I became a crutch to his sleeping. He didn't need food and neither one of us needed to get up. You have to be mentally ready to help him sleep. If you are, then you need to stop swaddling him and rocking him in the middle of the night. That is so comforting to them, he wants it. Who wouldn't? I love doing it for them myself. However, now he is at the point (if he doesn't need to eat), that he is waking up and can't get himself back to sleep so he wants you. Or he just wants you for comfort, swaddling or rocking. What's better than mom (or dad) holding you close? He needs to be able to self sooth, and since he can't swaddle himself (or any of the other things you do), you need to wean the swaddle and the other stuff.

So, this is where the mentally ready part comes in, you will need to start some sleep training. There are different methods. I did the intervals with my oldest and the twin that wasn't sleeping (the other twin just did it on his own). I let them cry for a few minutes, went in and comforted by standing at the side of the crib and rubbing his back, but never picked him up. Never spoke to him. YES, very, very hard. Then left. Waited five minutes, went in same thing. Waited 10 minutes, went in same thing. So on. I have to admit, especially with my first (because he was my first), I would roll up in the fetal position and stare at the clock and think that five minutes (or whatever interval we were up to) was hours and not minutes. I didn't love it. But after a week for him and just about two weeks for the twin (I think he took longer because he was a lot older than he should have been when I finally decided to do it), they were sleeping through the night.

Remember, he will be so much more happy once he is sleeping through the night. It's so painful (for me it was at least), to do it, but it's better for everyone.

Second, I was worried about the same thing - waking the other twin - I was really stressed about this. One of the many reasons I didn't force the other twin to sleep through for far too long. But, you just have to bite the bullet. She may wake up, she may not. Since they are used to each other, they get used to the sounds... even crying. Twins are amazing really. There were times when the one woke the other, but not always. You might be surprised. It is harder for twins, for sure. But doable. You have to be ready for a painful week or two, then it will be done and they'll both will sleep better.

Third, as the training goes on, you will notice that he will start to fall asleep quicker. Like, the first night is the worst. I think both mine that I trained cried for an hour and a half (and yes, I so cheated on my intervals and didn't space them out as much as some recommend... I am weak.... but it was what was right for me). The next day though, it was under an hour, then the next it was maybe 1/2 hour, and so on. It just dwindled down to where they cried for shorter periods of time before falling asleep. Then there was no crying. My twin (Oliver) took longer to dwindle down, but again, he was closer to nine months old (I know! I told you... that was crazy!). But he did it and though it took two weeks instead of one, it worked basically the same way.

Now, if you go a few days and he is crying the same amount of time or longer, then you need to stop. Maybe he isn't quite ready. I would still pick him up less though (if at all), just to get him used to no swaddling, not holding and no rocking which is what he desires to get himself back to sleep.

Fourth, we are all bonded very closely. There is no abandonment issues whatsoever. I hate it when people talk like that about this method. That said, you have to do what feels right to you. Again, I modified the method for me and went in more frequent intervals than what they said. Though, everything is adaptable to you and your children - adapt it to what works for all of you. Nothing should be so strict that you have to follow it to the tee. Well, unless what you are doing is negating it.

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My experience was that the first few nights of "crying it out" they do wake each other, and then they learn to ignore it. It amazes me what my son can sleep through (my daughter is our tougher sleeper). One book that I found super helpful is called Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell, she is a nationally known sleep expert (and a really nice person, I knew her when I was in college.) She advocates a variation on cry it out that is super helpful, and also addresses sleep issues at all ages, so the book is useful until your kids are school age.

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Were your twins similar - one slept through the night on their own, while the other still wakes up frequently? How did you handle it? Do you have advice/experience to add? Please share!

How do I get my twins to sleep through the night?!

The answer to this question has to be one of the most sought out of all new moms, multiple or singleton. Fortunately, we were able to gather some answers for you.

Below is some advice based on experience from some of our members:

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My twins were closer to 8 months or so before they started sleeping through the night, but my daughter is 6 mos. and has been sleeping thought the night for a long time now. What I did differently w/her is fed her after she woke up instead of right before she went down for a nap or bed (like I did my twins). Seems to have made all the difference in the world.

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When my twins were 6 months I'd finally had it getting up all hours of the night!!! I called my pediatrician and asked if they still needed their bottles thru the night and if I could let them cry it out. She said by 6 months they should be sleeping thru the night and they were eating out of habit. I let them cry it out and it was the BEST thing we ever did. They are 9 months now and good sleepers!!! It was the ONLY thing that worked!!! I tried all the sleep training books and nothing seemed to work. My daughter LOVES her passie so i put 4 in her crib and she finds them and pacifies herself. It took about a week and then they started sleeping a solid 10-11 hours. We are all much happier in our house!! I recommend you sleep somewhere else in the house so you don't have to hear it. We ran a fan in our room so we didn't listen to it all night otherwise we would have caved. They might of learned it less than a week but like I said we really didn't hear it. We just made the decision and stuck to it for a solid week to make sure they learned to sleep thru the night. They figured it out!

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My boys started sleeping through at about 4.5-5 months and I made it happen by cluster feeding at night. My boys were eating every 4 hours so in between their last two feedings (5:30 pm and 9:30 PM) I started giving them a small 2-3 ounce feeding. It worked like a charm. I can’t explain why, I was just grateful. I’ve heard of people having real luck with sticking to a strict schedule as well. Mine have a fairly consistent feeding schedule, but I don’t always do a bath at night, sometimes they don’t get a story and it hasn’t made a difference. They still get up sometimes, but they sleep through 90% of the time. They are 7 months and they have a bottle 4 times a day and have baby food 3 x a day. These are my first children and I know I struggled with amounts to feed them and that also made a difference for me, I wasn’t feeding them enough for them to sleep through the night.

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I think with my singleton son and my twin girls that the best thing I did to help them sleep through the night was get them on a consistent daytime nap and feeding schedule and a consistent bedtime. My son began sleeping through the night at 5 weeks and my girls were about 2 months. You are right that they should not need fed during the night at their age. On the nights that my little ones have gotten up, I just go in, make sure they are not sick and then let them cry and fuss themselves back to sleep. It is not easy, but definitely worth it in the long run.

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My daughter slept thru the night at 4 months when we tried cry it out - three hours and we were done. We (meaning my husband) didn't have the stomach to keep going with my son, and I continued to get up with him two times a night (breastfeeding through 8 months and formula after that). Finally at 15 months I put my foot down and said he is big enough to go the night. The first night I gave him water instead of formula and he was mad for 45 minutes; the second "feeding" of the night he cried for 30 minutes. The next night he woke once for 20 minutes and then never again. You're correct that you need to set the boundary. I missed out on nine months of good sleep! I was a fool to let it go on that long - don't make my mistake. You could try one at a time if you think that would help...

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You will probably get varied advice on this. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is a great book with instructions/advice on sleep training. We sleep trained the twins at 6 weeks or so, let them cry it out and get themselves to sleep (mostly for naps- and the most I could take was 15 minutes of crying - when I'd pick them up they'd be so exhausted, they'd fall right asleep). I'm sure many people thought that was too young, but they were sleeping thru the night for 11 hours by 11 weeks. Just take all the advice with a grain of salt. They will do it eventually and I don't think there is anything wrong with letting them cry for 15 minutes - 30 minutes at night at that age as long as they are getting their full nutrition during the day. (My kids were always good night sleepers, but I do remember letting them cry it out for naps at that age for maybe 30 minutes?) Good luck. If you have an extra minute, check out that book. It's great!

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I went through this w/ my singleton. The twins slept through the night at 4 months with no turning back. They've always been amazing sleepers. Still are and they are 6! So, naturally I thought my singleton would sleep through even before the twins since he was so much bigger (twice the weight of each twin) but that didn't happen.

I remember letting him cry it out a lot starting at 6 months and I totally regret it now. He just wasn't ready...for whatever reason. And then one day (closer to 8 months) he started sleeping through and he's been a good sleeper ever since. I think there is a point where it's time to let them cry it out, so they say, but for my 3rd, 6 months was too early. I really do regret that time and wish I just would have given him what he needed.

Only you can know when that time is but I just wanted to give your perspective from 4 years down the road. This is only a season and I promise, it will end...I know it doesn't feel like it.

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My ped recommended crying it out and that children are able to do this at 5 month. As much as crying sucks...this method works! My girls are now 6 months old and sleep from 8PM-7AM. Get the book Babywise. I used this technique with all 5 of my kids!! They all slept thru the night at 10 weeks. There were certain periods of time when they didn't but most of the time they slept.

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We did cry it out at 4.5 months. It took two bad nights and they have been sleeping through ever since. It is painful, but it works.

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I wish I had a hard and fast rule or fix or answer. I don't. Really, it's all what you are comfortable with. For my first, a singleton, we did sleep training at six month - I used Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child as my basis because it was recommended by so many. I really had one of my friends feed me some concepts initially because I was SO tired I couldn't stay awake to read it - I was nursing and working full time. He was up multiple time a night. I did the intervals of checking on him. It was VERY hard - emotionally for me. I would go in after a minute, then two minutes, then three and worked up. Your intervals are supposed to be longer but again it's all in what you are comfortable with and I needed to take baby steps myself. Those minutes when he was crying were like hours to me. But in the end, it only took a week before he was sleeping through the night. And the crying went from a long period of time, to just minutes by the end of the week, to nothing. He still woke a handful of times after that, but he would go back to sleep.

For the twins, I had one that sleep at 4.5 months (on his own, no training- it was heaven) and one that was nine months. The issue with the nine months for me was he is so little and had really bad reflux for a long time so eating was painful for him until we figured it out (all kinds of testing and different meds, and upper GI, it was crazy). So, he was four months by the time that we got figured it all out for sure and got him on the right medicine and he could eat well. He didn't hit the growth chart until he was about 6.5 months. So, guilt and wanting him to grow and eat kept me feeding him in the middle of the night. Nothing else. Did he really need it, probably not. But after I fed him he went right back to sleep, so it was pretty painless (other than the continued broken sleep). By nine months he wasn't getting up as much and I decided to let him cry it out a little. Again with my small minute intervals. He moved through that very quickly and was sleeping through the night within days.

In the end, it's all up to you. My oldest is 5 and the twins are 2.5 now. I have seen all kinds of things since then on both sides, crying and no cry, with crying being this horrible child abusing method it seems. When my five year old was a baby, I was desperate for sleep and really this method was "the thing" - my pediatrician even told me to do it. Like I said, I did it in very small intervals, always going in and comforting him but never picking him up as hard as it was. I remember laying in the fetal position on my bed watching the clock for my next interval. It was undoubtedly hard, probably more on me than him. Really within a couple days he went from crying for an hour to 15 minutes then to a minute or two then to no crying. And he was so much happier because he was rested, it's hard on them to get up a lot. It worked. I try not to read a lot about it now, since I am done and past it (and who needs anyone questioning something you did in the past or making you feel guilty about it), but I will tell you without a doubt that it did not affect his trust in us and he and I are still very closely bonded (being my first and a singleton). And my one twin, he was so old that it was easy for him as it turned out. But I tell you both because I didn't do the same thing for both, based on how I felt, his personality and needs as well as the situation. I was also very lucky in that my other twin that slept on his own without intervention was not bothered by his brother's waking to be fed or then crying. Very lucky. I don't know if that is your case or not.

Again, it's all up to you, your twins, your comfort level and situation. I hope that helped in some way. I remember being in your shoes and just wanting someone to give me a concrete answer and ensure it was right...especially with my first child when I was so clueless. There is no “right” answer, take all our advice, try what you want and find what works for you and your child. Between this and following your gut/heart, you can’t go wrong!

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Does anyone have more experience/advice to add? Please comment below or send something for us to add to this post.