Question from a CMOTC mom:
I need some advice please. I am having issues with my 8 month old twins sleeping at night. If I decide to let them cry it out how does that work? They are in the same room but have their own crib and they are side by side. Usually only one is awake at a time (imagine that). Do I let them wake the other one up? One of my boys is typically a good sleeper, but thanks to his brother crying constantly for several nights now he has started waking up and fussing too.
I let one of them cry for about 15 minutes last night but he was downstairs in a pack n play so we didn't wake up the other one. Then it took me 20 minutes to calm him down but he slept from 2 am until almost 7. I'm just not sure what to do but we are all exhausted as we enter night six of this new routine. Please let me know what worked for you or any ideas you may have. Thank you in advance for any help.
Advice/experience from CMOTC moms:
Mine are 2 now and I remember those miserable nights. My Ped mentioned giving them "baby boot camp" around 9 months because mine weren't sleeping through the night either. They were also prone to ear infections & reflux, so I was constantly in their room for one reason or another not knowing if their crying was related to that or to something else like teething.
We would let them each "cry it out" and they both had their turns. It was miserable. To this day my daughter always wakes up before my son and can wake him up at times. We just let her do her thing. At that young age my son learned to tune her out and keep sleeping through her screams. At times we let them each have a moment of "crying it out". One would start, then the other. My son usually settled down after 20 mins but overall, each could cry it out for over an hour. I remember my heart beating fast, my blood pressure rising/boiling and freaking out at the clock wondering if we'd ever get sleep again. I think they finally got used to it after a week or so, but it was no picnic.
Good luck & many blessings to you during this transition.
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I've had the same issues with my girls and are still having them at 13 mos!!
Mostly we let them cry it out. It's very hard to do, since your instinct is to go to them. But if one is crying, it almost NEVER wakes up the other. Almost. I have to be honest, I have one cryer and one sleeper. It's frustrating. But if you go to them every time they don't learn to "self-soothe". Sounds barbaric, I know. I think it's harder on the parents.
However, if you hear their cry change... and it's a HURT cry, then of course check on them. Mine like to throw out their blankey if we don't come in right away. Then the cry changes. I go in, put the blankey back in the crib, caress their head and leave. No talking.
Good luck. I know it's hard.
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At 9 months, I was about to lose my mind and sanity from lack of sleep. At 11 months, I separated them and put them in the own room. BEST decision ever. It is probably not the popular opinion, but at some point you need sleep. I wish I would have separated them sooner. So that is my advice. And then let the non-sleeper cry it out. We also put a fan in the hall way to drown out the noise. And a white noise machine in their rooms which REALLY seemed to help.
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We left them in the same room and let them cry it out. Their cribs are about 3 feet apart. My daughter would sleep fine through her brother's crying. I really just tried to read their signs. I could tell if the cry was getting better or worse. If it was getting worse, I would go in after 15 minutes and try to calm him down by singing, rubbing his tummy, whatever I could do without picking him up. Every day a different thing would work or not work! Once he was calm I would leave again and the cycle would repeat itself. It started out once an hour, then by day 5 he was sleeping through the night. If he would not calm down at all after an hour, I would pick him up, but I would do everything I could to avoid this. Now my daughter is the worse sleeper, so probably once a week we have to go through this process again, but typically after 15 minutes she is asleep.
It was the most difficult week of my life, but my kids are great sleepers now. I put them down wide a awake and they do not make a peep, sometimes laying there for 30 minutes awake. Unfortunately every kid is different, so this may not work for you. Just remember the hard work now will pay off in the long run. It was right around your twins age that my twins really fell into a routine and slept rather well. I no longer woke up wondering what would happen that day. Good luck!
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I am sure you will hear from the others.... continue to let them cry it out. Though I kinda forget, I think at 8 months they could at least go from 10pm till 6 am without feeding. They do not wake each other. I would continue to keep them in the same room. I do recall sometimes putting the one in a separate room (pack-n-play) but that was out of my fear of them waking the other up and on those nights I HAD to get the sleep.
Good luck... it will get better soon!!!
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I used the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Twins for sleep issues. When I decided to do CIO. I just put the two in their own cribs in the same room. I read a story to them while they were in their cribs. As long as I knew that they were well fed and in a safe location, I felt comfortable just shutting the door and leaving the room. I think they cried for about 30 min for about 3 nights in a row. When they woke in the middle of the night crying I didn't go get them (I was just too tired anyway). It might help if you leave the house or have your husband listen on the monitor when they are crying. I know it was hard to listen to. As long as they sound like they haven't hurt themselves, they should be okay crying and the crying should get shorter and shorter each day.
Mine are 22 months and have been sleeping well since about 6 months. It's tough to do the CIO but a few days of crying is worth it for them and for you in the long run. Mine are now trying to climb out of their cribs which is a whole new problem for me. :) Hope this helps.
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My two cents is that you need to keep them in the same room (rather than one in a pack and play downstairs) and let them cry it out. If you change it to where one is downstairs, then even if he starts sleeping through the night, it's very likely that once he is in his own bed again, he will not. It's different. Maybe this wouldn't happen, but for my kids routine was routine and part of that is sleeping in their own beds under the conditions of their own rooms - lights, sounds, space, smell, bed, etc.
Next, mine were in different cribs but butt up next to each other too. Luckily for me, one of them started sleeping through on his own at four months. The other I had to sleep train at nine months. I had the same concerns about the one waking the other, especially because the twin I was sleep training still had the really horrible hair-sticking-up-must-pick-him-up baby cry (he still does at three years old!). However, it's kind of a necessary evil of the sleep process, since they do sleep together.
As it turned out, sometimes my sleep trainer would wake up his brother, sometimes not. They get used to each other and sleeping through the other. That's not to say that the other won't always wake up every time, but it is to say that you might be surprised, he might start only waking up only on occasion (rather than all the time like now). For my twins, this sleep training for the one twin at nine months took two weeks. It is painful. First, the longer you wait (like nine months) the harder it tends to be. I knew this, but still waited because he had issues when he was younger and I just let it go. But it is harder the older they get. Second, I was not a by the book kind of girl. I was a two minutes crying, go check (no words, no pick up, just lightly touch MAYBE), then wait maybe five minutes and go check, then eight minutes, check. My graduation in adding time was there, but not as big a gap of time as some say you should do. I just couldn't do it. I was weak. Same with my singleton who needed sleep training (we did that at five months). You have to do what works for you and them. Sleep training/cry it out (totally or in intervals of time) works though. It really does. They need to learn to sleep by themselves.
We had a mobile that had a detachable music box (Tiny Love brand). We detached the mobile part and left the music part. At eight months they can press the music button if they want it in the middle of the night when they wake up. Sometimes that is soothing and it's self soothing, so that is good. It's hard for them to learn to sleep without you helping them. One of my friends, back when I did my now five year old singleton's sleep training, said that a doctor told her "if your favorite thing in the whole world that helped you get back to sleep was there every time you woke up, why wouldn't you wake up wanting it?" It's just a matter of them comforting themselves and learning how to fall asleep by themselves, not relying on you to help them.
That said, I think sleep training was the HARDEST thing ever! It was painful and I didn't like it. But it worked and they now sleep very well. All three. Woo hoo. But when you go through it, ESPECIALLY with multiples, you question everything you do and worry and stress and all that. I get it. I so get it. I do not miss that time (the sleeping part - I miss the little baby part at times - just because it goes WAY too fast!) at all. But, once we got through it, they slept well. However, expect vacations and sicknesses to throw it off balance again. You might have to go through some "cry it out" nights after those things too, but they typically do not last as long as what it is now. Typically, I would say try it for two weeks (one week with a singleton) and if it doesn't work, stop, wait a couple weeks and try again. However, if your twins have been separated (downstairs in pack and play) the entire six days so far, you may have to restart it from the beginning with them both in the same room. ????
Good luck. It doesn't seem possible now, but it will work and they (and YOU) will sleep... soon!
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Do you have more advice? Please comment below.
Showing posts with label Sleeping Issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sleeping Issues. Show all posts
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Sleeping advice: one twin is sleeping through, but the other is not...
Question from a CMOTC mom:
My twins are 4 1/2 mos now and one twin has been sleeping through the night since we decided to start letting her (instead of waking her when her twin woke up) about 4 wks ago. The other twin, however, is not even close. We went says he is now capable and that it was just a habit for him, and that we needed to start working on breaking him of it. So we started however, though he has proved he can make it through without a bottle, it is harder to get him to BACK to sleep without the bottle. At least then I was up no more than 30 minutes and then he would go back to sleep for 3 hrs. Last night, he went down at 8 pm and was up pretty much off and on all night from 10:30 pm -4:30 am.
We are still swaddling him, so I would re-swaddle and rock him and then lay him back down. He would sleep for a little bit and then wake up crying again. Any tips on how to break this? We haven't attempted just letting him cry it out because he's in the same room with the other twin who has been sleeping through the night and I don't want him to wake her. Advice??
Advice/experience from CMOTC moms:
I was worried about CIO b/c the boys were both in the same room, but they just get used to the other one crying. I think I just was too tired to go in there anymore. One was sleeping through the night about a month or so before the other. There were nights when one would be screaming enough to wake my husband and I up and the other would be sound asleep two feet away. I was amazed. It may take a few rough nights and they probably will wake each other up, but they should eventually get used to each other.
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He may be ready to not be swaddled -- give it a try. He may get uncomfortable after a bit. We stopped swaddling at 2.5 months and switched to the sleep sacks, which if you need any, we have 4 of the small ones you can have. They are the summer weight and in cream.
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It may be that he needs to learn to get himself back to sleep without your help, which usually means "crying it out." I had, and still have, a hard time letting them cry, but I learned to tell the difference between the "I'm hungry," "Something's wrong," and "I want someone with me" cry, although its not full-proof and it can change. My girl twin was the one for me that would have a hard time going to sleep at night and then occasionally waking up in the middle of the night. And that child has a voice on her! I was worried it would wake her brother, but he just slept through it all. When she did awake with the "I want someone with me cry", I would give her 10 minutes to settle down again, and 99% of the time she did. It is very hard to do, but if you don't, you will have a difficult time of it as your son gets older and won't settle down until you respond.
If I thought it was a more urgent sounding cry, i.e., "I'm hungry" or "Something's wrong", I always responded right away.
The only other thing I can think of that helped my two was to play a CD of lullabies when they went to bed (we still do that) or when they woke up. We also had a "Glow Worm" plush toy that when pressed played soft, music-only lullabies for 5 minutes that we placed near the crib.
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I would say at 4.5 months, he is capable. But that does not necessarily mean he is willing!! Some babies take a lot longer to sleep though the night. Maybe try weaning him slowly. Like 2 bottles a night for awhile then down to one. Instead of none at all!! :)
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Twins will often become accustomed to the others' crying & can often sleep right through it. I was doubtful of this, but my girls were co-bedded and there were many times when one would be screaming while the other would be sleeping peacefully right beside her. Very few times did the one wake the other.
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Letting them "cry it out" always bothered me but when you are sleep deprived you become willing to try anything. I now believe it is in the babies' best interest to let them cry a little and learn how to self soothe and fall asleep. I know of people with young children who never learned this and believe me, they pay a high price!
Here's what we did:
When a baby woke: Offer paci, if that didn't do it, check comfort (too hot cold etc), check diaper, reswaddle, sing lullaby and rub belly (clockwise). We checked things in progression from least disturbing so we would not wake the baby up more if all she needed was a little soothing. Most times we wouldn't say anything except a quiet "shhh" then maybe a reassuring "mommy/ daddy is here" "you're OK". After each soothing attempt we left the room for a few minutes even if they were crying. Sometimes we saved the diaper for very last.
A few more things: We never turned the light on or played/cooed (kind of difficult when they give you those sweet smiles, but well worth it) with the girls. I tried to act as sleepy as I felt and would sometimes barely open my eyes. It was night-night time and we wanted them to know it! We also would not pick them up unless necessary for a diaper change.
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Your little guy may be about to outgrow the swaddle. We had one baby who never liked the swaddle very much. We eventually swaddled her with her arms out and she liked that.
We used a blankie once the girls were big enough to roll over (check w/ your doc to make sure). People were always amazed that our girls would go to sleep just about anywhere with just a paci and blankie.
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Just quick note back... I just let mine cry it out. Seems a little early for them to sleep through, I think at that age they could go 11:00 pm-5 or 6 am. Mine didn't wake each other. If you still fear this, as I sometimes did, I also had a pack-n-play set up in a large walk-in closet that I would often take one twin in to let him cry it out. He would go back to sleep. I put the sound machine (ocean waves in there). It was heart-breaking to allow them to cry, but they need to learn how to sleep and put themselves back to sleep.
They are now both great sleepers, and I personally think is is because I did not hold them in the night every time they cried.
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First, do you have Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? I loved that book. I actually had a friend give me the cliff notes when I had my oldest because he had colic and I was exhausted (since then I have read chapters that have pertained to what I needed). It worked well. For the twins,I felt it was more complicated. Same reason as you. One of the boys slept through the night before the other. You have to do what you feel is best. For example, the twin that wasn't sleeping through the night had feeding issues for 4.5 months until we figured it out. He was smaller too, so honestly, I cut him a break and just got up with him. He would, just like yours, go back to sleep right afterwards. But, I just wanted to do that for many reasons.
However, I did get to the point where I became a crutch to his sleeping. He didn't need food and neither one of us needed to get up. You have to be mentally ready to help him sleep. If you are, then you need to stop swaddling him and rocking him in the middle of the night. That is so comforting to them, he wants it. Who wouldn't? I love doing it for them myself. However, now he is at the point (if he doesn't need to eat), that he is waking up and can't get himself back to sleep so he wants you. Or he just wants you for comfort, swaddling or rocking. What's better than mom (or dad) holding you close? He needs to be able to self sooth, and since he can't swaddle himself (or any of the other things you do), you need to wean the swaddle and the other stuff.
So, this is where the mentally ready part comes in, you will need to start some sleep training. There are different methods. I did the intervals with my oldest and the twin that wasn't sleeping (the other twin just did it on his own). I let them cry for a few minutes, went in and comforted by standing at the side of the crib and rubbing his back, but never picked him up. Never spoke to him. YES, very, very hard. Then left. Waited five minutes, went in same thing. Waited 10 minutes, went in same thing. So on. I have to admit, especially with my first (because he was my first), I would roll up in the fetal position and stare at the clock and think that five minutes (or whatever interval we were up to) was hours and not minutes. I didn't love it. But after a week for him and just about two weeks for the twin (I think he took longer because he was a lot older than he should have been when I finally decided to do it), they were sleeping through the night.
Remember, he will be so much more happy once he is sleeping through the night. It's so painful (for me it was at least), to do it, but it's better for everyone.
Second, I was worried about the same thing - waking the other twin - I was really stressed about this. One of the many reasons I didn't force the other twin to sleep through for far too long. But, you just have to bite the bullet. She may wake up, she may not. Since they are used to each other, they get used to the sounds... even crying. Twins are amazing really. There were times when the one woke the other, but not always. You might be surprised. It is harder for twins, for sure. But doable. You have to be ready for a painful week or two, then it will be done and they'll both will sleep better.
Third, as the training goes on, you will notice that he will start to fall asleep quicker. Like, the first night is the worst. I think both mine that I trained cried for an hour and a half (and yes, I so cheated on my intervals and didn't space them out as much as some recommend... I am weak.... but it was what was right for me). The next day though, it was under an hour, then the next it was maybe 1/2 hour, and so on. It just dwindled down to where they cried for shorter periods of time before falling asleep. Then there was no crying. My twin (Oliver) took longer to dwindle down, but again, he was closer to nine months old (I know! I told you... that was crazy!). But he did it and though it took two weeks instead of one, it worked basically the same way.
Now, if you go a few days and he is crying the same amount of time or longer, then you need to stop. Maybe he isn't quite ready. I would still pick him up less though (if at all), just to get him used to no swaddling, not holding and no rocking which is what he desires to get himself back to sleep.
Fourth, we are all bonded very closely. There is no abandonment issues whatsoever. I hate it when people talk like that about this method. That said, you have to do what feels right to you. Again, I modified the method for me and went in more frequent intervals than what they said. Though, everything is adaptable to you and your children - adapt it to what works for all of you. Nothing should be so strict that you have to follow it to the tee. Well, unless what you are doing is negating it.
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My experience was that the first few nights of "crying it out" they do wake each other, and then they learn to ignore it. It amazes me what my son can sleep through (my daughter is our tougher sleeper). One book that I found super helpful is called Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell, she is a nationally known sleep expert (and a really nice person, I knew her when I was in college.) She advocates a variation on cry it out that is super helpful, and also addresses sleep issues at all ages, so the book is useful until your kids are school age.
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Were your twins similar - one slept through the night on their own, while the other still wakes up frequently? How did you handle it? Do you have advice/experience to add? Please share!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Two year old's dropping their naps... help!
Question from a CMOTC MOM:
My girls have historically been really good sleepers, and their sleep has been pretty scheduled. The last couple weeks they will not take a nap. They get about 11 hours of sleep a night, and used to take a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap in the afternoon. I think if they were singletons, they would sleep because they are clearly tired. But, they are in the same room and once they lay down, they start singing, talking to each other and jumping up and down in their cribs. I've varied the time I put them down which hasn't helped. Also, I tried separating them into different rooms for naps, but they are so worked up about being separated that they just cry.
I lent away some of my sleep books, so I'm looking for some advice. Give up naps? Keep trying to put them down? If they were quiet and would just lay in their cribs and read or something, it would be a "break" for me, I suppose, but it's kind of stressful when they are crying and screaming and carrying on.
Advice/experience offered from other CMOTC MOMs:
This is so frustrating when two year olds do this! I have been there! Some moms may say that their 2 year olds gave up naps at this point- maybe for similar reasons, but it is my personal belief that if they were good nappers right up until that point, then they still need to nap but are going through a phase. Usually if they don't need naps anymore, they kind of wean themselves off of them- having shorter naps or napping some days and others not. Most likely, if you remain firm and stick it out, they will get back into the routine and will continue to be good nappers for a while. Shortly after mine turned two, we switched them to toddler beds and they did NOT want to nap. They would get up, play, talk to each other or whatever and keep each other up. Our house is small and separating wasn't really an option. So, what I did was sit in a chair between their beds and whenever they tried to get up or talk or whatever, I would firmly say NO and lay them back down. I would stay there until they both fell asleep. It was super annoying because it was nap time and I had other things to do, but I tried to look at the bright side and caught up on reading while I was waiting for them to fall asleep. After a while, the routine set back in and I was able to stop sitting in there and they go to sleep in the same room even though they are now a little over 3. They nap great again! So, my advice is to stick with it- they probably still need their nap they just don't know it and you have to enforce it. :) Good luck to you! I totally understand how frustrating it is!!
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My 5 year old twins and 3.5 year old twins all still nap. They seem like they will drop them sometimes, but I stick with it and they are back on schedule. With all my kids, I have had the (seriously- they are dropping their nap! feeling), and then they don't. The 5 years old probably naps 5 days/week, but has quiet time in his room each day.
If you want them to keep the naps (which I totally recommend for sanity) then you will have to just stick with it and hopefully they get back into it. Tough age because their ability to understand that they have to be quiet instead of play is hard. Ours have always slept with their twin- we didn't put in separate rooms. Also with better weather coming, they will need the naps after playing outside and getting the fresh air.
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Something that might help is a quiet time timer. Sit down with them and discuss that you will be setting the timer for a certain amount of time 15-20 minutes. If they are quiet with their eyes closed until the timer goes off then they can get up. At our house if they get up or start talking the timer starts over. I have one that always says he isn't tired at bedtime. Since we have started this he hasn't gotten up once.
Hope this helps. If not the Columbus Library has a very helpful book called "Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy Child".
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We are experiencing the same issue! It’s rare that they sleep these days. My husband is actually a stay-at-home Dad and constantly struggles to get them down and they used to be great sleepers too. What has seemed to work for us on occasion, is to sit on the floor of their room until they fall asleep. I’ve heard from some friends that if you sit, making no eye contact, and don’t give them attention to their antics, they will calm down and give up. I have to say we have tried this – it has worked! If they get out of the crib, pick them up with no words and put them back in the crib (or bed). Eventually they do give up – but, it does take time too, up to 1 hour or even longer when we first tried it.
I will say that they have learned that eventually Daddy will give up and “let us get up” mentality. So, stick to your guns and don’t let them rule. I hate to say it, but when I’m the one putting them down, I get less fuss because they know Mom isn’t going to give in after 1 hour or more, and it doesn’t take me as long either to get them down and I usually “win”. One of my twins is sly though – she waits until the other falls asleep and hopes she can get up and play alone. But, I rock her and she crashes in 5 minutes.
And sometimes they just end up crashing out on the living room floor, like their batteries run dead. Worst case is, by Thursday of each week, naps are easy because they are exhausted. I’m just looking forward to Summer, because I know for us part of the reason is they are not getting outside to run off steam!!!
Hang in there! At the very least, know that you are not alone and we are also navigating through this frustrating transition.
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Here's the best piece of advice someone gave me...or more like a word of wisdom. "It's not the child that drops the nap but the mom."
I whole-heartedly believe this. My twins napped til the day they left for Kindergarten. I still put them down on days when I know we will have a late night and they are 6. Their 4 year old brother almost never naps...not because he couldn't use a nap but because it isn't convenient for our family's schedule.
I think kids go through phases and if you can get through this one, they will start sleeping again. you really don't want to start the precedent of no naps now...it's too early. A tired 2 year old at 6pm is NOT fun.
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I have 2.5 yr old twin boys that sleep in the same room, in twin beds on opposite sides of the room. They too are really good night time sleepers (8p~7a) and when I can get them to nap, they sleep 1.5 - 2 hrs so I feel like they do need that nap. I, like you, struggle to get them to sleep but feel that we all need some quiet time so I work hard to get them to sleep.
The first battle we encountered was to keep them in their beds after they transitioned to "big boy" beds" but with my persistence they now stay in their beds. Now the struggle is to get them to sleep. I give them each a stuffed animal (which they love) and I let them "settle" down for 10 minutes or so -- I let them talk and giggle and play with the animal, etc. Then I go in the room and remind them that it's nap time and they need to settle down. If that doesn't work, I let them know I will have to take their animal away if they don't quiet down and I follow through right away (meaning, I don't let another 10 minutes go by with them talking and playing -- I will take the animal away within a minute of hearing them start up again). If they are still not settling down (which happens often), I take a book or magazine and just sit there and read for a little while, or do some stretching or take turns rubbing their backs to help them settle down and they usually go to sleep either while I'm doing that or shortly after. All in all, it could take up to a half hour but I feel it's worth the 1 - 1.5 hours of quiet I get when they do nap and our evenings are typically more pleasant when they get that nap too. I did not have to go through this crazy routine with my singletons and used to get very angry and frustrated about the twin napping situation but now just plan it into my day and enjoy the 20 minutes of reading or whatever I decide to do when I'm in their room.
I've also noticed that their nap time has changed a little from the usual 1:30 to more like 2:00-2:30 and I try to either do a little reading time or let them watch a mellow show or video (Wiggles probably wouldn't be good) for a half hour before nap time. This seems to get them in "wind-down" mode from their busy morning of playing (and fighting) and I think helps with the nap-time thing.
It is possible that your girls are getting out of the napping stage but I've always felt it was important to give everyone's thoughts a little time to rest so we've always had our kids do a "quiet time" even when my oldest was in Kindergarten. He was clearly out of the napping stage by then so I would have him sit on the couch and look at books or just lay there quietly for 30 minutes. My four yr old currently goes to his bed during the twins' naptime and doesn't usually sleep but he lays in there and talks to his stuffed animals or stares at the wall or whatever he does as long as he's laying quietly. If he hasn't fallen asleep, I let him get up after an hour of resting and play quietly or color until the others wake up or his older bro gets home from school.
Not an easy decision to make b/c naptime can be a struggle and consequently a stressor. Hope my suggestions prove helpful and good luck!
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Good luck – We just went through this a few weeks ago and fortunately it didn’t last long… we ended up getting a sound machine and room darkening curtains. Also, the first couple of days I stayed in there so they knew it was nap time. You will get tons of good advice!
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I wouldn't give up on the naps yet! It seems likely that they still need it.
It could just be a phase and if you just pick something and stick with it maybe they will settle back into the routine. Personally, I think that it is a good idea to have them separated for naps. With my twins it seems to work better and I think that it is good for them to learn to be by themselves. If they have always been together I can understand that it could be a little traumatic at first!
Anyone have any advice to add? What worked for you? Books you would recommend? Please comment below!
My girls have historically been really good sleepers, and their sleep has been pretty scheduled. The last couple weeks they will not take a nap. They get about 11 hours of sleep a night, and used to take a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap in the afternoon. I think if they were singletons, they would sleep because they are clearly tired. But, they are in the same room and once they lay down, they start singing, talking to each other and jumping up and down in their cribs. I've varied the time I put them down which hasn't helped. Also, I tried separating them into different rooms for naps, but they are so worked up about being separated that they just cry.
I lent away some of my sleep books, so I'm looking for some advice. Give up naps? Keep trying to put them down? If they were quiet and would just lay in their cribs and read or something, it would be a "break" for me, I suppose, but it's kind of stressful when they are crying and screaming and carrying on.
Advice/experience offered from other CMOTC MOMs:
This is so frustrating when two year olds do this! I have been there! Some moms may say that their 2 year olds gave up naps at this point- maybe for similar reasons, but it is my personal belief that if they were good nappers right up until that point, then they still need to nap but are going through a phase. Usually if they don't need naps anymore, they kind of wean themselves off of them- having shorter naps or napping some days and others not. Most likely, if you remain firm and stick it out, they will get back into the routine and will continue to be good nappers for a while. Shortly after mine turned two, we switched them to toddler beds and they did NOT want to nap. They would get up, play, talk to each other or whatever and keep each other up. Our house is small and separating wasn't really an option. So, what I did was sit in a chair between their beds and whenever they tried to get up or talk or whatever, I would firmly say NO and lay them back down. I would stay there until they both fell asleep. It was super annoying because it was nap time and I had other things to do, but I tried to look at the bright side and caught up on reading while I was waiting for them to fall asleep. After a while, the routine set back in and I was able to stop sitting in there and they go to sleep in the same room even though they are now a little over 3. They nap great again! So, my advice is to stick with it- they probably still need their nap they just don't know it and you have to enforce it. :) Good luck to you! I totally understand how frustrating it is!!
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My 5 year old twins and 3.5 year old twins all still nap. They seem like they will drop them sometimes, but I stick with it and they are back on schedule. With all my kids, I have had the (seriously- they are dropping their nap! feeling), and then they don't. The 5 years old probably naps 5 days/week, but has quiet time in his room each day.
If you want them to keep the naps (which I totally recommend for sanity) then you will have to just stick with it and hopefully they get back into it. Tough age because their ability to understand that they have to be quiet instead of play is hard. Ours have always slept with their twin- we didn't put in separate rooms. Also with better weather coming, they will need the naps after playing outside and getting the fresh air.
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Something that might help is a quiet time timer. Sit down with them and discuss that you will be setting the timer for a certain amount of time 15-20 minutes. If they are quiet with their eyes closed until the timer goes off then they can get up. At our house if they get up or start talking the timer starts over. I have one that always says he isn't tired at bedtime. Since we have started this he hasn't gotten up once.
Hope this helps. If not the Columbus Library has a very helpful book called "Healthy Sleep Habits: Happy Child".
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We are experiencing the same issue! It’s rare that they sleep these days. My husband is actually a stay-at-home Dad and constantly struggles to get them down and they used to be great sleepers too. What has seemed to work for us on occasion, is to sit on the floor of their room until they fall asleep. I’ve heard from some friends that if you sit, making no eye contact, and don’t give them attention to their antics, they will calm down and give up. I have to say we have tried this – it has worked! If they get out of the crib, pick them up with no words and put them back in the crib (or bed). Eventually they do give up – but, it does take time too, up to 1 hour or even longer when we first tried it.
I will say that they have learned that eventually Daddy will give up and “let us get up” mentality. So, stick to your guns and don’t let them rule. I hate to say it, but when I’m the one putting them down, I get less fuss because they know Mom isn’t going to give in after 1 hour or more, and it doesn’t take me as long either to get them down and I usually “win”. One of my twins is sly though – she waits until the other falls asleep and hopes she can get up and play alone. But, I rock her and she crashes in 5 minutes.
And sometimes they just end up crashing out on the living room floor, like their batteries run dead. Worst case is, by Thursday of each week, naps are easy because they are exhausted. I’m just looking forward to Summer, because I know for us part of the reason is they are not getting outside to run off steam!!!
Hang in there! At the very least, know that you are not alone and we are also navigating through this frustrating transition.
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Here's the best piece of advice someone gave me...or more like a word of wisdom. "It's not the child that drops the nap but the mom."
I whole-heartedly believe this. My twins napped til the day they left for Kindergarten. I still put them down on days when I know we will have a late night and they are 6. Their 4 year old brother almost never naps...not because he couldn't use a nap but because it isn't convenient for our family's schedule.
I think kids go through phases and if you can get through this one, they will start sleeping again. you really don't want to start the precedent of no naps now...it's too early. A tired 2 year old at 6pm is NOT fun.
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I have 2.5 yr old twin boys that sleep in the same room, in twin beds on opposite sides of the room. They too are really good night time sleepers (8p~7a) and when I can get them to nap, they sleep 1.5 - 2 hrs so I feel like they do need that nap. I, like you, struggle to get them to sleep but feel that we all need some quiet time so I work hard to get them to sleep.
The first battle we encountered was to keep them in their beds after they transitioned to "big boy" beds" but with my persistence they now stay in their beds. Now the struggle is to get them to sleep. I give them each a stuffed animal (which they love) and I let them "settle" down for 10 minutes or so -- I let them talk and giggle and play with the animal, etc. Then I go in the room and remind them that it's nap time and they need to settle down. If that doesn't work, I let them know I will have to take their animal away if they don't quiet down and I follow through right away (meaning, I don't let another 10 minutes go by with them talking and playing -- I will take the animal away within a minute of hearing them start up again). If they are still not settling down (which happens often), I take a book or magazine and just sit there and read for a little while, or do some stretching or take turns rubbing their backs to help them settle down and they usually go to sleep either while I'm doing that or shortly after. All in all, it could take up to a half hour but I feel it's worth the 1 - 1.5 hours of quiet I get when they do nap and our evenings are typically more pleasant when they get that nap too. I did not have to go through this crazy routine with my singletons and used to get very angry and frustrated about the twin napping situation but now just plan it into my day and enjoy the 20 minutes of reading or whatever I decide to do when I'm in their room.
I've also noticed that their nap time has changed a little from the usual 1:30 to more like 2:00-2:30 and I try to either do a little reading time or let them watch a mellow show or video (Wiggles probably wouldn't be good) for a half hour before nap time. This seems to get them in "wind-down" mode from their busy morning of playing (and fighting) and I think helps with the nap-time thing.
It is possible that your girls are getting out of the napping stage but I've always felt it was important to give everyone's thoughts a little time to rest so we've always had our kids do a "quiet time" even when my oldest was in Kindergarten. He was clearly out of the napping stage by then so I would have him sit on the couch and look at books or just lay there quietly for 30 minutes. My four yr old currently goes to his bed during the twins' naptime and doesn't usually sleep but he lays in there and talks to his stuffed animals or stares at the wall or whatever he does as long as he's laying quietly. If he hasn't fallen asleep, I let him get up after an hour of resting and play quietly or color until the others wake up or his older bro gets home from school.
Not an easy decision to make b/c naptime can be a struggle and consequently a stressor. Hope my suggestions prove helpful and good luck!
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Good luck – We just went through this a few weeks ago and fortunately it didn’t last long… we ended up getting a sound machine and room darkening curtains. Also, the first couple of days I stayed in there so they knew it was nap time. You will get tons of good advice!
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I wouldn't give up on the naps yet! It seems likely that they still need it.
It could just be a phase and if you just pick something and stick with it maybe they will settle back into the routine. Personally, I think that it is a good idea to have them separated for naps. With my twins it seems to work better and I think that it is good for them to learn to be by themselves. If they have always been together I can understand that it could be a little traumatic at first!
Anyone have any advice to add? What worked for you? Books you would recommend? Please comment below!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
How do I get my twins to sleep through the night?!
The answer to this question has to be one of the most sought out of all new moms, multiple or singleton. Fortunately, we were able to gather some answers for you.Below is some advice based on experience from some of our members:
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My twins were closer to 8 months or so before they started sleeping through the night, but my daughter is 6 mos. and has been sleeping thought the night for a long time now. What I did differently w/her is fed her after she woke up instead of right before she went down for a nap or bed (like I did my twins). Seems to have made all the difference in the world.
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My boys started sleeping through at about 4.5-5 months and I made it happen by cluster feeding at night. My boys were eating every 4 hours so in between their last two feedings (5:30 pm and 9:30 PM) I started giving them a small 2-3 ounce feeding. It worked like a charm. I can’t explain why, I was just grateful. I’ve heard of people having real luck with sticking to a strict schedule as well. Mine have a fairly consistent feeding schedule, but I don’t always do a bath at night, sometimes they don’t get a story and it hasn’t made a difference. They still get up sometimes, but they sleep through 90% of the time. They are 7 months and they have a bottle 4 times a day and have baby food 3 x a day. These are my first children and I know I struggled with amounts to feed them and that also made a difference for me, I wasn’t feeding them enough for them to sleep through the night.
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I think with my singleton son and my twin girls that the best thing I did to help them sleep through the night was get them on a consistent daytime nap and feeding schedule and a consistent bedtime. My son began sleeping through the night at 5 weeks and my girls were about 2 months. You are right that they should not need fed during the night at their age. On the nights that my little ones have gotten up, I just go in, make sure they are not sick and then let them cry and fuss themselves back to sleep. It is not easy, but definitely worth it in the long run.
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My daughter slept thru the night at 4 months when we tried cry it out - three hours and we were done. We (meaning my husband) didn't have the stomach to keep going with my son, and I continued to get up with him two times a night (breastfeeding through 8 months and formula after that). Finally at 15 months I put my foot down and said he is big enough to go the night. The first night I gave him water instead of formula and he was mad for 45 minutes; the second "feeding" of the night he cried for 30 minutes. The next night he woke once for 20 minutes and then never again. You're correct that you need to set the boundary. I missed out on nine months of good sleep! I was a fool to let it go on that long - don't make my mistake. You could try one at a time if you think that would help...
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You will probably get varied advice on this. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" is a great book with instructions/advice on sleep training. We sleep trained the twins at 6 weeks or so, let them cry it out and get themselves to sleep (mostly for naps- and the most I could take was 15 minutes of crying - when I'd pick them up they'd be so exhausted, they'd fall right asleep). I'm sure many people thought that was too young, but they were sleeping thru the night for 11 hours by 11 weeks. Just take all the advice with a grain of salt. They will do it eventually and I don't think there is anything wrong with letting them cry for 15 minutes - 30 minutes at night at that age as long as they are getting their full nutrition during the day. (My kids were always good night sleepers, but I do remember letting them cry it out for naps at that age for maybe 30 minutes?) Good luck. If you have an extra minute, check out that book. It's great!
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I went through this w/ my singleton. The twins slept through the night at 4 months with no turning back. They've always been amazing sleepers. Still are and they are 6! So, naturally I thought my singleton would sleep through even before the twins since he was so much bigger (twice the weight of each twin) but that didn't happen.
I remember letting him cry it out a lot starting at 6 months and I totally regret it now. He just wasn't ready...for whatever reason. And then one day (closer to 8 months) he started sleeping through and he's been a good sleeper ever since. I think there is a point where it's time to let them cry it out, so they say, but for my 3rd, 6 months was too early. I really do regret that time and wish I just would have given him what he needed.
Only you can know when that time is but I just wanted to give your perspective from 4 years down the road. This is only a season and I promise, it will end...I know it doesn't feel like it.
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My ped recommended crying it out and that children are able to do this at 5 month. As much as crying sucks...this method works! My girls are now 6 months old and sleep from 8PM-7AM. Get the book Babywise. I used this technique with all 5 of my kids!! They all slept thru the night at 10 weeks. There were certain periods of time when they didn't but most of the time they slept.
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We did cry it out at 4.5 months. It took two bad nights and they have been sleeping through ever since. It is painful, but it works.
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I wish I had a hard and fast rule or fix or answer. I don't. Really, it's all what you are comfortable with. For my first, a singleton, we did sleep training at six month - I used Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child as my basis because it was recommended by so many. I really had one of my friends feed me some concepts initially because I was SO tired I couldn't stay awake to read it - I was nursing and working full time. He was up multiple time a night. I did the intervals of checking on him. It was VERY hard - emotionally for me. I would go in after a minute, then two minutes, then three and worked up. Your intervals are supposed to be longer but again it's all in what you are comfortable with and I needed to take baby steps myself. Those minutes when he was crying were like hours to me. But in the end, it only took a week before he was sleeping through the night. And the crying went from a long period of time, to just minutes by the end of the week, to nothing. He still woke a handful of times after that, but he would go back to sleep.
For the twins, I had one that sleep at 4.5 months (on his own, no training- it was heaven) and one that was nine months. The issue with the nine months for me was he is so little and had really bad reflux for a long time so eating was painful for him until we figured it out (all kinds of testing and different meds, and upper GI, it was crazy). So, he was four months by the time that we got figured it all out for sure and got him on the right medicine and he could eat well. He didn't hit the growth chart until he was about 6.5 months. So, guilt and wanting him to grow and eat kept me feeding him in the middle of the night. Nothing else. Did he really need it, probably not. But after I fed him he went right back to sleep, so it was pretty painless (other than the continued broken sleep). By nine months he wasn't getting up as much and I decided to let him cry it out a little. Again with my small minute intervals. He moved through that very quickly and was sleeping through the night within days.
In the end, it's all up to you. My oldest is 5 and the twins are 2.5 now. I have seen all kinds of things since then on both sides, crying and no cry, with crying being this horrible child abusing method it seems. When my five year old was a baby, I was desperate for sleep and really this method was "the thing" - my pediatrician even told me to do it. Like I said, I did it in very small intervals, always going in and comforting him but never picking him up as hard as it was. I remember laying in the fetal position on my bed watching the clock for my next interval. It was undoubtedly hard, probably more on me than him. Really within a couple days he went from crying for an hour to 15 minutes then to a minute or two then to no crying. And he was so much happier because he was rested, it's hard on them to get up a lot. It worked. I try not to read a lot about it now, since I am done and past it (and who needs anyone questioning something you did in the past or making you feel guilty about it), but I will tell you without a doubt that it did not affect his trust in us and he and I are still very closely bonded (being my first and a singleton). And my one twin, he was so old that it was easy for him as it turned out. But I tell you both because I didn't do the same thing for both, based on how I felt, his personality and needs as well as the situation. I was also very lucky in that my other twin that slept on his own without intervention was not bothered by his brother's waking to be fed or then crying. Very lucky. I don't know if that is your case or not.
Again, it's all up to you, your twins, your comfort level and situation. I hope that helped in some way. I remember being in your shoes and just wanting someone to give me a concrete answer and ensure it was right...especially with my first child when I was so clueless. There is no “right” answer, take all our advice, try what you want and find what works for you and your child. Between this and following your gut/heart, you can’t go wrong!
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Does anyone have more experience/advice to add? Please comment below or send something for us to add to this post.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sleep and The Time Change
Question: Looking for advice on how to handle sleep and wake times for daylight savings (Nov 1) and how to adjust the schedule for the smoothest transition. My girls (4.5 months) currently sleep from 8:15-7:30. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
My boys are now 6 1/2, and we still struggle with what to do for them. When they were babies until about 4, we would put them down as close to the "regular time" as possible. Keeping them up/putting them down earlier didn't work for us. In this case, it would be putting them down at 7:15...which seems early. But, we started there, and then kept them up 15 minutes or so longer each night and eventually we were working on a good schedule. Does that make sense? If we got frustrated, we just let them "take the lead" on their bedtime and put them down when they were tired. It's easier for us to adjust as adults than it was fighting them or forcing them when they weren't tired.
The book that I refer to whenever any sleep issues come up says that you should keep the kids on their regular schedule and they will adjust accordingly. I usually don't have a problem during this time change (when it gets darker earlier) because my boys associate darkness with going to bed, however, when it got darker later, I had to purchase room darkening curtains so that they can go to sleep. Your babies may wake up a bit early in the transition, but it will eventually work itself out on its own. Good luck!
I think "falling back" is always easier than "springing forward". After dinner the evening before (Oct. 31 in this case), I pretend the time change has already happened. So, I will try to keep my kids up that evening an extra 30 min to 1 hr. Then they usually sleep a little longer in the morning... getting up at their regular time. Then I just proceed on my normal schedule throughout Sunday and Monday. If they wake up early Sunday, I let them, but I do not adjust nap times or anything, letting the day play out as close to normal as possible. It is amazing how quickly kids adjust, especially with the "longer nights". Another suggestion... start several days before and make the adjustment in 15 min increments over several days. It's too much work for me, but I have heard it works.
My boys are now 6 1/2, and we still struggle with what to do for them. When they were babies until about 4, we would put them down as close to the "regular time" as possible. Keeping them up/putting them down earlier didn't work for us. In this case, it would be putting them down at 7:15...which seems early. But, we started there, and then kept them up 15 minutes or so longer each night and eventually we were working on a good schedule. Does that make sense? If we got frustrated, we just let them "take the lead" on their bedtime and put them down when they were tired. It's easier for us to adjust as adults than it was fighting them or forcing them when they weren't tired.
The book that I refer to whenever any sleep issues come up says that you should keep the kids on their regular schedule and they will adjust accordingly. I usually don't have a problem during this time change (when it gets darker earlier) because my boys associate darkness with going to bed, however, when it got darker later, I had to purchase room darkening curtains so that they can go to sleep. Your babies may wake up a bit early in the transition, but it will eventually work itself out on its own. Good luck!
I think "falling back" is always easier than "springing forward". After dinner the evening before (Oct. 31 in this case), I pretend the time change has already happened. So, I will try to keep my kids up that evening an extra 30 min to 1 hr. Then they usually sleep a little longer in the morning... getting up at their regular time. Then I just proceed on my normal schedule throughout Sunday and Monday. If they wake up early Sunday, I let them, but I do not adjust nap times or anything, letting the day play out as close to normal as possible. It is amazing how quickly kids adjust, especially with the "longer nights". Another suggestion... start several days before and make the adjustment in 15 min increments over several days. It's too much work for me, but I have heard it works.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Answers for Twin Sleeping Issues
Question: What do I do? One twin seems to be sleeping well while the other is waking up. Do I wake them both up or let one sleep for as long as possible?
I say "Absolutely!" let Audra sleep as long as she wants at night. My twins were the same way. My daughter could go longer without eating at night and my son needed a little bit more to eat. I did it like you during the day. I would feed them on a regular schedule and let them go at night (at least at this age; when they were brand new, I would wake the other one up.). Grace was sleeping 8-9 hours per night by the time she was 8 weeks old. Parker was about 3 months old before he could give up that extra feeding at night.
As long as they are healthy and gaining weight, it sounds like this is Audra's way of telling you that she's ready to sleep longer. Before you know it, Joshua will be able to do the same thing and you'll actually be able to sleep all night. You won't know what to do with yourself. :) A full night's sleep will make you feel like a new woman!
Follow your instincts. Whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for them and for you.
I woke the other twin in the middle of the night too. I was just so afraid she'd wake up 30 minutes after I laid my son back down and I'd never get to sleep. We finally did try letting her sleep at about four months, and she slept through the night...and has been doing so ever since. Unfortunately, it took a lot longer for my son to sleep through the night, but its all about the little victories - - especially where sleep is involved! You might want to try letting her sleep one night to see what happens. If she sleeps through to the next feeding...awesome. If not, then you can always go back to waking them both up again.
Okay I really was bothered by this I remember. I tried both and found that waking was the best thing to do in the long run for all involved. It will not hurt anyone and it doesn't last long and suddenly he will catch up to her. Mine were 13 weeks early so I was always worried about them and questioning myself but I found that if you just treat them normally and keep them on the same schedule it works wonders in the end. I am so thankful I woke my daughter up when I fed my son. They were fine and I was gaining some sanity!!
Good luck and best wishes!
I hope this helps... but I my oldest was he slept through the night. I remember waking him up the first night we were home just as the doctors said and I spent an hour and half trying to get him to eat and he cried unrelentlessly... I ended up putting him back to bed and he slept through the night 6 hours and we were to 8,9, 10 hours pretty quickly, I learned very quickly not to wake a sleeping baby. Now when we had the twins... I knew how important it would be to keep them on the same schedule.., even through the night. So here is what i did with them... When one woke up to feed and the other one didn't, I tried to make the one that was awake go back to sleep and stretch the feeding closer to the one that was sleeping, this worked great for us! The one that woke up quickly went back to sleep and was able to hang on for a couple more hours...(i just didn't get up right away) I let them cry for a 5-10 minutes and usually they fell back to sleep before I would even be able to get out of bed. For a while the switched back and forth as to how would get up first at night, but eventually, by 3 months, they were sleeping 8 hours a night and by 5-6 months they were going 12 hours and continue along the same schedule and they are 14 and half months now. Plus they both take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. Being a mon of one first really helped me when it came to having twins and it worked in my favor to get them to sleep through the night as soon as possible and I took advantage of the one that didn't wake up to get the other to sleep longer. IT's all about outsmarting them!! LOLHope this helps... like I said it worked great for us, but I know every situation is different.
At that stage I still found that it was better to continue to wake the other when the first one woke up - otherwise I was sometimes up all night feeding babies, because they would trade off. But at some point I started to try to just let them sleep and see what would happen. I think that it was somewhere between 2 and 3 months that one of them started sleeping consistently about 6 hours at night. It was easier for me to let him sleep and then try to have one feeding later with the 2 of them together. Then I could nurse the one that woke earlier in bed with me and my sleep wasn't so disrupted, either. I hope that you find something that works out!
I can only tell you what worked for us. We woke both boys up at night if one woke and the other didnt. They do everything together. Bottles, nap, play, baths, cereal...everything. It makes it MUCH easier to get them on a schedual. If I were you, I would try giving Joshua an extra half ounce at his last feeding before bed. That may help keep him sleeping until his sister wakes up. We had to do that with Dominic. My boys go to bed at 7pm and dont wake up for their middle of the night bottle until between 4:30am and 5:30am. And then they get up at 7-7:30am for a bottle. We feed at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm and the last bottle they want at 6:15pm before they go down for bed at 7pm. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask! Life for us changes so much once the boys were on their schedual! We are much happier parents for sure! Good luck!
I always woke up one when one woke up to feed.......from those with singletons it doesn't make sense but in a life of multiples it does:)
My girls are 2 and still nap and go to sleep at the same time and are used to this routine.
I did wake both babies when the other woke for a long time. I would do this as long as you feel right about it- you will get more sleep if they are on the same schedule. After a while, Ellie would consistently have to be woken because she would always sleep longer. When it got to the point where she would always have to be woken and just seemed to want to sleep longer, than I would try it out. Sure enough, she did sleep through the night sooner. So, if you want, you can experiment with the baby that sleeps longer. You can let Audra sleep and if she is up just a short time later, than go back to waking her up with the other one. But, if she does sleep a long time, then you can let her sleep in the future too
You probably got a ton of answers on this, but I thought I'd respond since I just had the same issue. Our daughter Gillian started sleeping through the night before our son Connor did, and I kept waking her up just as you are doing. I mentioned it to the doula I was using and she said that if Gillian is sleepy and not eating much (I was complaining that I couldn't keep Gillian awake long enough to feed her more than an ounce or so) that that was her way of telling me to let her sleep. She told me if I keep waking her up, she'll get used to that and I will have a harder time later getting her to sleep through the night. So I stopped waking her up and instead, waited for her to wake up, and within a few days she was sleeping straight through from 8:30-9:00pm to 7am. Gillain was about 13-14 weeks old. I then just waited for Connor to wake up during the night which he would do 1 time around 3-4am.. Each day, he slowly extended his time daily, until about a week later, he started sleeping through the night. Since then, both have slept through the night. I did notice that during the day, they both wanted more milk to make up for the feeding(s) they were missing at night, especially in the late afternoon/early evening feedings.
I say "Absolutely!" let Audra sleep as long as she wants at night. My twins were the same way. My daughter could go longer without eating at night and my son needed a little bit more to eat. I did it like you during the day. I would feed them on a regular schedule and let them go at night (at least at this age; when they were brand new, I would wake the other one up.). Grace was sleeping 8-9 hours per night by the time she was 8 weeks old. Parker was about 3 months old before he could give up that extra feeding at night.
As long as they are healthy and gaining weight, it sounds like this is Audra's way of telling you that she's ready to sleep longer. Before you know it, Joshua will be able to do the same thing and you'll actually be able to sleep all night. You won't know what to do with yourself. :) A full night's sleep will make you feel like a new woman!
Follow your instincts. Whatever you decide to do will be the right thing for them and for you.
I woke the other twin in the middle of the night too. I was just so afraid she'd wake up 30 minutes after I laid my son back down and I'd never get to sleep. We finally did try letting her sleep at about four months, and she slept through the night...and has been doing so ever since. Unfortunately, it took a lot longer for my son to sleep through the night, but its all about the little victories - - especially where sleep is involved! You might want to try letting her sleep one night to see what happens. If she sleeps through to the next feeding...awesome. If not, then you can always go back to waking them both up again.
Okay I really was bothered by this I remember. I tried both and found that waking was the best thing to do in the long run for all involved. It will not hurt anyone and it doesn't last long and suddenly he will catch up to her. Mine were 13 weeks early so I was always worried about them and questioning myself but I found that if you just treat them normally and keep them on the same schedule it works wonders in the end. I am so thankful I woke my daughter up when I fed my son. They were fine and I was gaining some sanity!!
Good luck and best wishes!
I hope this helps... but I my oldest was he slept through the night. I remember waking him up the first night we were home just as the doctors said and I spent an hour and half trying to get him to eat and he cried unrelentlessly... I ended up putting him back to bed and he slept through the night 6 hours and we were to 8,9, 10 hours pretty quickly, I learned very quickly not to wake a sleeping baby. Now when we had the twins... I knew how important it would be to keep them on the same schedule.., even through the night. So here is what i did with them... When one woke up to feed and the other one didn't, I tried to make the one that was awake go back to sleep and stretch the feeding closer to the one that was sleeping, this worked great for us! The one that woke up quickly went back to sleep and was able to hang on for a couple more hours...(i just didn't get up right away) I let them cry for a 5-10 minutes and usually they fell back to sleep before I would even be able to get out of bed. For a while the switched back and forth as to how would get up first at night, but eventually, by 3 months, they were sleeping 8 hours a night and by 5-6 months they were going 12 hours and continue along the same schedule and they are 14 and half months now. Plus they both take a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. Being a mon of one first really helped me when it came to having twins and it worked in my favor to get them to sleep through the night as soon as possible and I took advantage of the one that didn't wake up to get the other to sleep longer. IT's all about outsmarting them!! LOLHope this helps... like I said it worked great for us, but I know every situation is different.
At that stage I still found that it was better to continue to wake the other when the first one woke up - otherwise I was sometimes up all night feeding babies, because they would trade off. But at some point I started to try to just let them sleep and see what would happen. I think that it was somewhere between 2 and 3 months that one of them started sleeping consistently about 6 hours at night. It was easier for me to let him sleep and then try to have one feeding later with the 2 of them together. Then I could nurse the one that woke earlier in bed with me and my sleep wasn't so disrupted, either. I hope that you find something that works out!
I can only tell you what worked for us. We woke both boys up at night if one woke and the other didnt. They do everything together. Bottles, nap, play, baths, cereal...everything. It makes it MUCH easier to get them on a schedual. If I were you, I would try giving Joshua an extra half ounce at his last feeding before bed. That may help keep him sleeping until his sister wakes up. We had to do that with Dominic. My boys go to bed at 7pm and dont wake up for their middle of the night bottle until between 4:30am and 5:30am. And then they get up at 7-7:30am for a bottle. We feed at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm and the last bottle they want at 6:15pm before they go down for bed at 7pm. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask! Life for us changes so much once the boys were on their schedual! We are much happier parents for sure! Good luck!
I always woke up one when one woke up to feed.......from those with singletons it doesn't make sense but in a life of multiples it does:)
My girls are 2 and still nap and go to sleep at the same time and are used to this routine.
I did wake both babies when the other woke for a long time. I would do this as long as you feel right about it- you will get more sleep if they are on the same schedule. After a while, Ellie would consistently have to be woken because she would always sleep longer. When it got to the point where she would always have to be woken and just seemed to want to sleep longer, than I would try it out. Sure enough, she did sleep through the night sooner. So, if you want, you can experiment with the baby that sleeps longer. You can let Audra sleep and if she is up just a short time later, than go back to waking her up with the other one. But, if she does sleep a long time, then you can let her sleep in the future too
You probably got a ton of answers on this, but I thought I'd respond since I just had the same issue. Our daughter Gillian started sleeping through the night before our son Connor did, and I kept waking her up just as you are doing. I mentioned it to the doula I was using and she said that if Gillian is sleepy and not eating much (I was complaining that I couldn't keep Gillian awake long enough to feed her more than an ounce or so) that that was her way of telling me to let her sleep. She told me if I keep waking her up, she'll get used to that and I will have a harder time later getting her to sleep through the night. So I stopped waking her up and instead, waited for her to wake up, and within a few days she was sleeping straight through from 8:30-9:00pm to 7am. Gillain was about 13-14 weeks old. I then just waited for Connor to wake up during the night which he would do 1 time around 3-4am.. Each day, he slowly extended his time daily, until about a week later, he started sleeping through the night. Since then, both have slept through the night. I did notice that during the day, they both wanted more milk to make up for the feeding(s) they were missing at night, especially in the late afternoon/early evening feedings.
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