Nine Easy Ways to Say I Love You

This is a great article by Linda Wilson, which I found here, that talks about simple ways to say I love you not only to your significant other, but also to your children, family members and other loved ones. With Valentine's Day being tomorrow, it seemed even more appropriate to share.

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Everyone needs love. From the newborn baby who thrives on being cuddled by his parents to the geriatric in a nursing home who watches the door for a visit from a loved one, and all us in between. We need love. The need for love is instilled in us by our creator and no matter how we may try to deny it, the need is always there. We may try to deny it, we may try to avoid it, but it is always with us and it always will be. From birth to the grave, we need to give and receive love.

The importance of love is even scientific. Scientists know and openly state that being loved and giving love are beneficial to our health. So don't fight it. Accept the love that others offer to you and don't be stingy about giving love. February is known as the month of love; what better time than now to put the practices of giving and receiving love into action?

We live in such a busy society today. Often both spouses work and have little time for each other or their children. Children are being raised in day-care centers, by nannies, etc and have little time with their parents. Children move away to better jobs and hardly see their elderly parents. But that does not mean we can't still let them know how much we love them. Following are some simple ways to stay connected and to let our loved ones know how much we love them. Give some of these suggestions a try. You'll be amazed at how much satisfaction you'll get.

1. When a loved one leaves the house, give them a kiss or a hug and make it a point to tell them you love them.
2. Give a simple bouquet of flowers. They don't have to be elaborate to say I love you.
3. When packing lunches for a spouse or child, put in a one or two line note reminding them of your love. (see links for free lunchbox notes printables below)
4. Before going to bed, post a note on the bathroom mirror, refrigerator door or other spot where your loved one will find it shortly after they get up the next morning.
5. Pick up the phone and make a call to that loved one who is away. There's nothing like hearing the voice of loved one. Email and letters are nice but sometimes one just longs to hear a loved one's voice.
6. Make time for those you love. You may have to schedule it just like a business appointment. Do what ever it takes. Go to a favorite restaurant, the park, settle the family down and watch a movie together, play a game or work a puzzle. Your children just want to spend time with you. They aren't picky about how that time together is spent.
7. Let your children know they are important to you. Don't get so busy you miss their school programs, sporting events, music recitals or whatever they are involved in. Sometimes actions speak louder than words!
8. When you are doing something special with your loved ones, keep them the center of your focus. Don't take them to the beach then sit in the shade working on your laptop. They want you to swim with them, build sandcastles and be a part of what they are doing.
9. Kisses, hugs, longing glances, a wink are all ways a very busy person can silently communicate their love. When you get right down to it, it really is the little things that count.

I saw this little poem once and it has stuck with me. I have no idea who the author is but I feel it is worth sharing:

Hold your loved ones close today, Whisper in their ear. Tell them that you love them And you'll always hold them dear.

For tomorrow is promised to no one, Young and old alike. Today may be your last chance To hold your loved ones tight.

That is good advice. Don't be afraid to let those you love know it. You'll be a happier, healthier person for it and so will they.

Remember the old saying, "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today."

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You can find free printable lunch box notes for your children's lunch boxes at the following sites:

Alenkas Printables

Disney

Family Fun (lunch box jokes)

Kid Printables

The Youth On-line Club

Valentine's Day cards, crafts and recipes

The Family Fun website always has really neat ideas for all things holiday. If you are looking for ideas, here is a link to all their Valentine's Day ideas.

For Valentine Day's past, we have made the sweet shovel (we filled it with stickers, little raisin boxes and a couple chocolate kisses) and the sweet for the sweet - naturally for my oldest son's friends. Both were a huge success. These are just two, there are many more really cute Valentine card ideas on their site, click here to see them.

In addition to the card ideas, there are also a ton of fun recipes, games and party ideas, which are not only fun for doing at home but also provide great ideas for those room mothers out there who are planning their child's classroom party.

Do you have other great website resources for fun Valentine card, craft and recipe ideas? Please share by commenting below!

Reflecting on Your Relationship

CMOTC mom Kathleen P. found this great resource to share with us on rekindling romance with your spouse. With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, what better month to remember why you fell in love? Thank you Kathleen!

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Remember those romantic moments with your spouse….screech…open your eyes to the new reality. The hopes and dreams we had at that romantic moment get caught up in the day-to-day life. This February, stop and smell the roses with your spouse, to recall the wonderful journey that got you both to this moment.

Reflect on the Then & Now….

Take a moment for your marriage by finishing the following thoughts. And, also ask your spouse to answer these same questions.

When we met I felt…

I can be a better spouse by…

This year we should…

The past year in my marriage has been…

I fell in love with his/her…

I am going to plan a date for…

As we’ve been married I learned…

I am so blessed by my spouse’s…

I think _________ brings out the best in my relationship.

Remember it’s about love and …

Regard. Do you also include taking in the point of view from your spouse’s perspective.

Engage. How often do you give him/her your undivided attention?

Share. Do you listen to what matters to him/her?

Encourage. How do you show your faith in him/her to within your family?

Couple. When’s the last time you held his hand, rubbed their shoulders, embraced them spontaneously?

Talk. Do you put away mommy voice to talk with them or not?

And for those times that you do argue…

1. Agree that listening to the other person does not mean you concur with what the other one is saying.


2. One person talks for as long as necessary. The other partner does not interrupt, no matter how much he or she may disagree or itch to get his or her point in. Instead jot down a key word remembering what was said.


3. When the speaker is finished, the other person may do the same thing.

How do your kids see…Love? Ask them to explain what love is.

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"What my son taught me about SPD"

Part three of CMOTC mom Meghan A.'s posts on Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).

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This post was originally posted on my blog - here.

Yesterday was a hard day for Sumner.

We went to a Japanese steakhouse for my little sister's birthday. Sumner started worrying as soon as he heard where we were going, and his big concern was that they were going to "make a fireplace" on the table. (This is part of the cooking/show of the meal.) He kept telling me "Mommy, it is too bright! I am so scared of it! What will I do? Can we go to another restaurant? Please?"

We talked about what we might do ahead of time to plan and prepare: sunglasses, covering his face, wearing a weight belt...

He decided to wear his new Iron Man helmet that Santa brought to help protect him from the "fireplace." He was anxious in the car the whole way there, and he was hesitant to even sit at the table. He started whining/fussing as soon as we sat down. Unfortunately they seated us between two tables, both preparing to start the lunch "show."

In the end, I covered his eyes and face with my hand. After the first fire, he became desperate to cover his face through the second fire. (Delayed by a few minutes.) His senses were clearly heightened and after the meal, he wanted to go around the table to talk to family, but told me he was "afraid of the fans" (vents in the ceiling) and had to hold my hand to go around the table.

Outside in the lobby we had cake. As the singing began, Sumner refused to sing, and when it concluded, the meltdown began. Both David and I took turns taking him outside, and I even tried jumping with him and letting him push the wall. He was too far gone for it to help.

I took him in the bathroom, and he looked up at me with huge sad eyes and said "Mama, this place scares me. I am so scared."

My heart broke into a million pieces right there. I cannot fathom how the entire meal felt to him: how overwhelmed he was, how his body went on hyper alert, and how his SPD felt. We left, and he struggled the remainder of the day, and most of today too, but for one minute I saw in his eyes everything: that he was completely overwhelmed and didn't know what to do to make it stop.

The story is awful, and just a snapshot at what both of the boys must deal with every day. There were bright spots here too that I can't ignore: we planned ahead. He was able to tell me what he was afraid of. He really did well considering. But for a moment I wished I could scoop him up and put him in a cave where there was no sensory input and let him hide. The thing is, I know that won't do him any good. This day is just the tip of the iceberg as to what he'll face every day, and running away from sensory things won't help.

Sumner's sensory over-responsiveness is not always a bad thing. He is an amazing singer and always sings on pitch. He notices things that no one else would. The world is very beautiful through his eyes, and he frequently says things that make me stop and see things in a different way. I just have to keep thinking of ways to give him every tool in my arsenal to help him prepare for things that will overwhelm him, and deal with the unexpected.

~ Meghan

Sensory Therapy

Part two of CMOTC mom Meghan A.'s posts on Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).

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What does sensory therapy look like? Well, the sensory gym looks a lot like a play area. Swings, slides, ball pits. zip lines, all of these are very much the norm. The idea is to re-train the brain and create new neurological pathways. In essence, to teach the brain to take in sensory information and handle it correctly. Most research shows that the brain is most elastic in the youngest of children so the sooner this work can begin, the better.

Sensory therapy is often led by an OT. Some OTs are SIPT certified, but most important is finding one who has experience with SPD.

Some images of sensory equipment:




















Some activites your child might participate in:

• deep pressure
• pressure vests
• weighted belts
• "squishes" or hugs
• swinging
• sliding
• ziplines
• ball pits
• spinning
• messy art
• shaving cream play
• food/textures
• climbing
• motor planning
• listening therapy
• sensory tubs
  

All of these activities are a fun way of re-teaching the brain the correct way to respond to sensory stimulation. By creating new neural pathways, therapy helps the child with SPD respond in the right way to the things going on in their environment around them.

Specific tools your child can use and you can use as a parent will be taught as well. Accommodations, preparing for sensory events...this is not just education for your child but for you as well! It's important as a parent to be equally involved in your child's therapy. Many of the activities down in sensory therapy can be re-created or carried over to the home environment.

Look forward to more posts about SPD, and how to recognize it. For more information, feel free to stop by my blog: http://taderbaby.blogspot.com

~Meghan

Help Me Grow's Developmental Milestone Guideline

CMOTC mom Kathleen P. found this great resource to share with everyone. It is a general developmental milestone guideline for children from birth to two years of age. This particular list came from the Help Me Grow website and is what they use as their guideline for early intervention as well. What a great resource for any mom to have; thank you Kathleen!

To add my two cents, speaking as a mom of twins who have developmental delays and one with Apraxia of speech, one of the best things I ever did was contact the Help Me Grow when I suspected delays at three months of age based on this guideline. The program is wonderful and the team of therapists that we worked with from four months to three years (when the program ends) were just fabulous and very caring with my children (and us). Our Early Intervention Specialist was a great resource and also so supportive. I highly recommend that you contact your county's Help Me Grow program if you suspect any issues or developmental delays. They will come out and assess your child and determine if there is indeed a delay or issue. If there is, your child(ren) will qualify for the program which is free (funded by our tax dollars) and offers so many valuable resources, support and help for your child. This program isn't just for children with simple developmental delays, it is for any child in need such as a known like Down's Syndrome or a medical condition that delays your child (like cancer or heart conditions). All children who need therapy and services qualify. To find your county's Help Me Grow Program click here. Early intervention is key.

We also have a great post on the blog, "When twins need "intervention" developmentally", written by CMOTC mom Meghan A. that outlines some resources available to you, which includes the Help Me Grow program. ~ Wendy

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Birth to Two Years - Guideline for Developmental Milestones published from the Help Me Grow website.

Age one month

• Raises head slightly off floor or bed when lying on stomach
• Holds head up momentarily when supported
• Briefly watches and follows object with eyes
• Avoids mildly annoying sensations (placement of cloth on face)
• Some "Noise in Throat" sounds

Age two months

• Hold head erect, bobbing, when supported in sitting position
• Follows moving person with eyes
• Imitates or responds to smiling person with occasional smile
• Vocalizes

Age three months

• Lifts head and chest when lying on stomach
• Vigorous body movement
• Head control is improving
• Recognizes breast or bottle
• Coos
• Chuckles
  

Social and emotional development between zero to four months:

• communicate by crying
• enjoy being cuddled
• smile spontaneously

Age four months:

• Good head control
• Rolls from side to side
• Takes object, such as a rattle, held near hand
• May begin reaching
• Follows moving object when held in sitting position
• Laughs aloud
• Enjoys play
  

Social and emotional development between four to nine months:

• cry, smile, kick, coo, laugh to attract attention
• respond differently to strangers (stranger anxiety, 8 months)

Age six months:

• Sits with minimal support
• Rolls from back to stomach
• Transfers object from hand to hand and from hand to mouth
• Babbles-more than two sounds

Overall during birth to six months, baby will:

• I smile
• I look at faces
• I listen to voices or noises
• I lift my head when I’m on my tummy
• I follow moving objects with my eyes
• I hold a rattle or toy
• I babble or coo
• I roll over
• I pull to sitting holding someone’s fingers
• I recognize and reach for Mommy

Age nine months:

• Sits alone
• Changes position without falling
• Plays with 2 objects at the same time
• Unwraps block
• Says Mama and Baba
  

Social and emotional development, ten to twelve months:

• Pay attention to his or her name
• Tease and test parent's limits
• Learn to cooperate
• Display separation anxiety and stranger anxiety
• Be curious

Overall during six months to one year, baby will:

• I sit alone
• I say "Mama" or "Dada"
• I crawl
• I clap my hands
• I recognize familiar words
• I copy speech sounds
• I pull myself to stand
• I use my fingers to eat some foods
• I understand "No"
• I take steps with help
• I say "peek-a-boo"
  

One year to eighteen months:

• I walk alone
• I say several words
• I try to feed myself with a spoon
• I stack 2 or more blocks
• I follow simple directions such as "bring your shoes"
• I scribble on paper
• I run and jump
• I turn pages in a book
• I point to 3-5 pictures in a book

Eighteen months to two years:

• I put 2-3 words together
• I pedal my tricycle
• I balance on one foot
• I begin to use the toilet or potty
• I like to be "the boss"
• I ask a lot of questions
• I jump with both feet
• I tell you how I feel (sad, mad)
• I climb the stairs
• I copy circles or lines
• I understand "In", "On", "Out"

Social and emotional development

One to two years:

• Begin to become independent
• May become angry if activities are interrupted
• Respond to simple commands by adult
• Show anger through aggressive behavior
• Have temper tantrums

Two to three years:

• Defend possessions, but is beginning to share
• Participate in simple group activity
• Be loving, engaging, enthusiastic and appreciative
• AND explosive, tense, rigid, insecure, and easily frustrated

Seek help for your child if:

• Your baby is not sleeping or eating well on a continuous basis
• You think your young child may hurt self or others (is angry or excessively destructive)
• Your young child is very sad, depressed or nervous most of the time
• Your child's play is always aggressive
• Your child's behavior suddenly changes (begins to act very differently)
• You have a concern about your child's development (such as walking, talking)
• Your child regresses (goes back) to an earlier behavior
• Your child is unusually advanced in sexual behavior
• Your young child has a medical condition that could affect emotional or physical growth
• Your child has lead poisoning

These are only guidelines. You are the best judge of when you or your child needs help. Your doctor and other professionals can help with any concerns you may have.

The Help Me Grow program is in each county and provides developmental screenings and evaluations (including emotional development evaluations) for children birth to three. Help Me Grow can connect you to community resources that will meet your child's needs. Ongoing home visiting services are also offered that help to address your needs.

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Cleaning For A Reason

Many of us, unfortunately, have had a friend or family member (or maybe even ourselves) with cancer. Recently I saw an advertisement for an organization called Cleaning For A Reason. They partner with local cleaning companies to offer free house cleaning for women who are currently under cancer treatments. What a great help this would be in a time when cleaning your house is the last thing on your mind!

This is what they offer:

"We partner with professional residential maid services who are insured and bonded to participate in our foundation. The companies have agreed to take 2 patients at a time and offer four free general cleanings – one a month for four months as a way to give back to their community."

They currently have 817 partners in 50 states and Canada, which includes a few right here in Columbus. Applications are posted on their website starting at 12 noon CST, Monday through Friday, and they do limit it to 50 applications a day.

This sounds like a great organization with a great cause, and one that is worth sharing with all you as a resource, if the need ever presents itself.

For more information, go to the Cleaning For A Reason website.